1. |
Limits
03:24
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[Verse 1]
I'm in the middle of life, it's like a riddle
And time is like a trickle
My heart is getting brittle
I know it's understandable
I'd like to smoke botanicals
Living in a cage
I feel trapped like an animal
My home is a bubble, walls made of glass
Transparent man, pull the curtain back
Throw a wrench in my defense mechanism
Recognize My constituent, you is or you isn't8
---Cuz if you're rocking with me, it's understood
We can drop the facade, and then open up the book
Long story short, I put the ball in the court
After the fall and before, I give it all to support
The authentic, choose not to be a cynic
I got words, but the proof is true and living
Indeed, the blood sweat and tears letcha know
This is me, this is real, this is Beau
[hook]
Just making up life as I live it,
Walking this long road minute by minute
Taking it slow, cuz I got limits
Just making up life as I live it
[verse 2]
And I haven't made up my mind yet
(Why is that?) Cuz I'm still working with the concepts
Testing out the different hypotheses
Fishing for the truth like catch and release
Absorbing all I can from theology to science
Then I meditate and enjoy the silence
Even though it's few and far in between
I'm grateful for what I receive
Cuz I’m …. Living life without fear
Shopping 5 below, buying off brand beer
And I don't even drink it, I just let it sit in the fridge
I play a part more than I'd like to admit
So I take the time to get to know myself
If I don't love myself, then I've got no wealth
And I've got no time to ruminate on self-hate
I don't know, maybe you could relate
[hook]
[verse 3]
This is the life I didn’t ask for
It asked for me, and I chose not to ignore
And so I take it all in stride
Live it in a way that makes me feel satisfied
but many days I’ve cried, wishing for a new beginning
Only to go back to the source of my affliction
Gotta deal with the mess before it deals with I
Know it’s only temporary, let it slip by
We’re all self-conscious, I’m not the first to admit it
But I’m the last to criticize the pain that you live with
Just give it---a little bit of time, okay?
A couple years down the road, you’ll make some headway
Hindsight is 20/20, believe perception changes
The way you make sense of the valleys and mountain ranges
Wish it could be painless, progression is a beast
So faith must increase, and doubt must decrease
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2. |
Me gusta...
03:06
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3. |
Black Jesus
02:52
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4. |
Nonsense
03:29
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[hook]
I got a problem with people speaking gossip
Talking bout what you know, nothin and it's nonsense
[verse 1]
I used to think I had to hate gay people
Cuz I was taught what they represented was evil
then I met a few and, well, they were cool
So I had to take myself back to school
I Began to see I had been indoctrinated
Misinterpreted scripture had been propagated
impressionable young mind, just a dumb child
That's an awful lot of string to have to unwind
To part ways with a couple thousand years of tradition,
oh yes, it was quite the Inquisition
Who was I to question whats been passed down?
The audacity I had to begin to cast doubt
But the fact remained, I had to gravitate
Swim Away from religion, like a castaway
Truth is, I found Jesus in the same place
With the same people I was taught to stay away
[hook]
[verse 2]
I used to think I had to have figured out
But I don't and I won't so I took another route
Doubt became a friend, cuz the path never ends
From the new beginnings until the bitter ends
Even as I found peace, the criticism increased
People don't like when you challenge their beliefs
That's not faith, it's ideology, and idolatry
Preconceived prejudice deep in your psychology
Sacred cows create beef, it's inescapable
I wanted certainty but I found it's unsustainable
So I stay in my Lane and try to refrain from
judging what I don't know and quietly convey
That I'm with you in the struggle, I'm here if you need me
Let's lock arms, March together, til we can be free
My humanity is wrapped up in yours
When they think we've pushed too hard, say we're coming with more
[hook]
[verse 3]
I used to wonder if the pain would ever stop
from the names that they would drop and the anger I would lock
Inside... The vitriol got into my brain
So suicide was a thought I'd often entertain
Felt like my own parents didn't want me
And if they didn't love me, then f--- it, to put it bluntly
Excuse my French, but my shoulder got a chip
And it's big as a boulder, I can't live without it
But can I live with it? I don't even know
From the anger of the heart, my depression overflows
And so it goes, my silence is my defense
Scared to be hurt, so I traffic in pretense
being someone else is so exhausting
integrity loss, is too costly
So I gotta forgive and let God take it
And The pain hasn't stopped but it's faded
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5. |
Young Man
02:53
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[hook]
I was a young man, something just made my soul move
I had one plan, become an emcee and just groove
As a young man, they thought it was a phase, it might pass
But bump that, I'm in it whatever the price tag
[verse 1]
Let me tell ya something bout me, my name is Beau
I Come from a long line of just plain folk
White as a slytherin, I'm talking Draco
White as the driven snow, okay, case closed
At age five, I took an interest in rap
And you woulda thought it was a criminal act
Seems like all rappers got were some bitter attacks
The way the people criticized with no additional facts
But it was all I really wanted to hear, beats and rhymes
I didn't know about the folks who were being demonized
Then, just as the culture began increasing size
It was culturally appropriated, read between the lines
That was me, I became the target demographic
Didn't really get that this was all problematic
Cuz the industry began to get real systematic
And profit off the violence that was all symptomatic
Of deeper injustice in society’s structure
And lack of real relationship with people of color
But still there was me, trying to understand the struggle
Rappers were my teachers, studied every word they uttered
Connected to Black friends, cuz we liked the same music
And they let me know, “You're a guest. Don't abuse it.”
Always give credit and never make excuses
So I'll make my case, skip and Shannon, undisputed
[hook]
[verse 2]
My first song was like 48 bars with no hook
If the bell hadn't rung, I mighta written a whole book
See, I barely paid attention in high school, I was writing
Filling up notebooks with nothing too exciting
Just some basic rhymes, you know, truck, duck stuck
No exaggeration, kept it on the up and up
Well, maybe I was fronting just a little teeny bit
But that stage was only sorta intermediate
Didn't take me long to learn how to be authentic
Cuz most white rappers turn out to be a gimmick
So when college came around, I really started doing shows
Coffee shops. Churches, anywhere humans go
Most of it was terrible, but most crowds were charitable
The rush of the stage, there's nothing else comparable
Can't believe that was fifteen years ago
I always love to see the faces looking kinda froze
Like “Whoa, I ain't expect that to come out of you.
Ordinarily, you seem quiet and subdued
But when you rap, I see and hear the passion within
Even if hip hop is much to my chagrin
I can feel it, it makes you come alive
It's like you're drawing on something deep inside.”
Yes, I am, and I'm grateful for the medium
Soul music, that's the main ingredient
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6. |
Straight Dope
03:01
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[hook]
Forget the pipe dreams, give me real hope
Don’t tell me half truths, I want straight dope
I’m done with subtext, give me endnotes
Give me the truth, man, I want straight dope
[verse 1]
Nobody move, nobody get hurt
Nobody ask questions, that’s what they prefer
They wanna control the narrative, so smooth and arrogant
This is our heritage, that’s just America
Land of the addicted and home of the depressed
We’re savage to each other, but we call ourselves the best
But don’t TALK about it, sweep it under the rug
Aren’t denial and subterfuge such wonderful drugs?
Hard or soft peddle, pulling strings like Gepeto
These people Play the victim, but they’re really the aggressor
Rich white men think their skin works against them
How could that be? They maintain the system
And You can feel the tension from a mile away
So if you're tired of sleeping, stay wide awake
The time is right now to stand and cry foul
Follow Christ's route turn tables upside down
[hook]
[verse 2]
Try to stay above the fray, get cut off
You think it's a win-win, but buddy, you just lost
Saying nothing is saying something, see what I'm sayin
So If you're not trying to pass, get back in the right lane
You say it's muddy but I'm making it quite plain
I don't like the system, I'm breakin supply chains
tried to box me in, but I planned my escape
And so be it if I drift on high plains
I stand alone even when I'm in the crowd
They often said I had my head in the clouds
But I'm always on my job no finishing out
Cuz My blood is on boil, no simmering down
shock doctrine, talkin Jazz like John Stockton
The masses on that BS ingest strong toxins
Supersize lies, wool pulled over eyes
Mad men, don't believe what they advertise
[hook]
[verse 3]
We've deconstructed everything till there's nothing
It's all nihilism and overconsumption
The Western mind is detached from reality
Our whole society is built upon a fallacy
doctrine of Discovery, manifest destiny
The idea that white men are better, fundamentally
We claim to know different, but we don't act different
don't wanna feel guilty, so we try to plead ignorance
cognitive dissonance, worldviews collide
Confront the status quo, get pushed to the side
We need a new moral order, people over profit
A way of life you can't package in a product
I am because we are, the Ubuntu philosophy
The Divine presence, the God in you and me
I'm radically committed to the liberation of us
So we must rebuild with a foundation of love
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7. |
Stoplight City
03:46
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[hook]
Waiting for the chance to leave, and I'm out
Looking for a space to breathe, another route
Spending these days in traffic, what a pity
Such is life in the Stoplight City
[verse 1]
Yellow light, speed up or slow down
The simple choice leaves room for no doubt
Options are slim living in my hometown
Circumscribed before the first pitch is thrown out
Increase the pace, but you're running in place
Where people are stressed out, so they want to escape
And the alcohol calms, so that's how they medicate
In a space where you're judged by a single mistake
Heavy is the head that wears the crown of the metropolis
Infamous here but in the larger scheme anonymous
Crazy what some people do to feel prosperous
success and material gain are not synonymous
promises made on smooth interstates
Without considering the detours and maintenance it takes
Decisions, decisions, byways, divisions
We're all just doing our best to miss collisions
[hook]
[verse 2]
Red light, traffic at a standstill
Desensitized to this stuff, it's like I can't feel
Exhaust fumes enter my lungs, about to choke
If I disappeared without a trace, would they even know?
Nobody's progressing, everybody's obsessing
I took some wrong turns, but there's no use regretting
Cuz maybe right here is where I'm supposed to be
And fantasizing different lacks a certain sense of cogency
Over the Frozen sea of faces, I observe
And attempt to preserve my dignity and my nerve
But it's failing, I perceive the chaos held at bay
And most people treat it like it's just another day
So I turn up the radio, it's all that keeps me sane
When I hear Marvin Gaye sing the sweet refrain
It makes me wanna holler, the way they do my life
Every day is a fight
[hook]
[verse 3]
Praying for the green light like John Legend,
It's like I'm ready for the home plate but I'm on second
I was born to run, I'm the boss, I can chart my own course
I'll pack my bags, say goodbye, so on and so forth
Take the back roads in case they wanna pull me back
And I am not responsible for how they all react
Say peace, shake the dust off, never see the rearview
I know you raised me up, but I don't wanna be near you
Too many bad memories, my soul can't really go there
I can't settle for that life, it's going nowhere
So damn the torpedoes, and full speed ahead
Maybe I won't win but at least I'll beat the spread
And honestly, that's probably what you gave to me
The grit, the wherewithal to pound the concrete
It made me who I am even though it wasn't pretty
I'm just another product of stoplight City
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8. |
Hold Back
03:32
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[hook]
Tastes so good that I can't hold back
Feels so great I don't wanna hold back
But I know what I'm about so I gotta hold back
Lord give me strength I think I'm bout to go back
[verse 1]
I'm a servant to my passions, passive aggression
Never worry bout the consequences of my obsessions
Life lessons never learned, school of hard knocks
Never turned me away from getting my rocks off
Nonstop with the motivation glorify self
I'll take what you got so there's more to myself
borderline health, kinda sorta need help
But my life is out of order like Disorganized shelves
A little bit of inhibition would be beneficial
But the superficial visuals turn me to an imbecile
No chill, no self care, no love
Grown manchild still need to grow up
take responsibility, instead of shame
And build a legacy, leverage a better way
But I'm living life like I'm dumb and dumber
self destruction is a motherf-----
[hook]
[verse 2]
Hedonistic, overly simplistic
Blink once, ya missed it, the game is risky business
---Blitz at the end zone, going for the gusto
Impact, collision course, tear muscle, crush bones
Careers over, at least that's what it looks like
Feeling like I'm on the balcony with Suge Knight
Id probably get smoked even if I could fight
I used to wanna grow accustomed to the good life
But here I stand, the epitome of failure
Skip the movie you can just catch the trailer
30 for 30, more like 0 for 10
Try to finish the script but I got a broken pen
No plays left to run, no angles of attack
Just weight up on my back, I'm slain to be exact
Now I could get with this, or I could get with that
The choice is mine, it's forward or back
[hook]
[verse 3]
Grace kept me alive and faith helped me survive
Breath of life entered my lungs, now I'm revived
And certified in light of my design by divine
Power, my life is Christ consciousness defined
Still struggle though, I ride the bus every day
Flat tires’ll get you low sometimes, so levitate
Take it easy, let yourself heal, therapeutic
Relax yourself, settle down like q-tip
Where the spirit leads, intercede to interrupt the program
If I can't do it myself, I'll bring the whole fam
Escalate the tension till it's at a fever pitch
Desolate your team no matter who the leader is
Revolve around science, simple mathematics
Me bouncing back that's a every time average
One step back, two steps forward
I may be outta bounds but I'm never outta order
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9. |
Courage
03:03
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[hook]
Fight with the courage of a champion
Prove em wrong when they say that it can't be done
Use your heart for what hearts are for
Live from the inside out, forevermore
[verse 1]
The weakness of a child, the gift of existence
The hope of a mother, the search for significance
The pressures on at the moment of arrival
The work is set before us, the challenge of survival
Eyes open to the specter of fate
The rules have been established out the gate, no debate
You can be who you wanna be, is that what they say?
But you are who you're gonna be, unless you can pay
Cuz cash rules everything cream get the money
Dollar bill’ll make a smart man turn into a dummy
Consequences of a life in the shadow of debt
Enemies hedge bets in the battle with death
I tell em... Take a long position, cuz I'm beyond suspicion
And Recognize the vision You know I bomb the system
It's like that, you know it's like that
I was burnt out but now I got my light back
[hook]
[verse 2]
Train up a child in the way he’s gotta move
To make it in America, the wicked witch’s brew
we idolize stupidity and reward duplicity
And top it all off with a nice helping of bigotry
symmetry’s off so the beauty of humanity
Is sacrificed on the sacred altar of insanity
A red hat doesn’t give you any power
It may just hide the fact that you’re a coward
Or it may just be a marketing scheme
Cuz you were never meant to live American dreams
You were supposed to numb out, roll over, play nice
Cuz you and I are fighting over the same slice
But i refuse to see you as my enemy
Even if I’m not really feeling your energy
Coincidentally it doesn’t make sense to me
Crabs in a bucket have never found the remedy
[hook]
[verse 3]
Fearfulness combined with ignorance
Is a pestilence with no evidence
Groupthink is outrageous and contagious
All these baseless allegations are fallacious
Fox news drops cues that mold pops views
The Stock market blew so now they got you
81 percent of evangelicals support a Nazi
Kids living in cages can they not see
Or do they not care? Is this a nightmare?
Why, for us to have rights, are they denied theirs?
How can I not speak, even if my voice cracks?
Give me a platform, watch me exploit that
Say what I gotta say, do what I must
Cuz the last thing you need is someone you can't trust
I will never say words meant to titillate ears
So I'll fight with the fire to incinerate fear
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10. |
Gonna Be
03:53
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[hook]
When everything looks Bleak like the dead of night
Gotta feeling everything's gonna be alright
When nothing makes sense and you can't even cry
Gotta feeling everythings gonna be alright
It's gonna be (X6), it's gonna be alright!
[verse 1]
Most of his dreams will never come to pass
Most of his achievements’re never gonna last
He went fast for the first thirty years
He climbed the rungs to the top of his career
He tried to be something that he couldn't be
Tried to stand up but it brought him to his knees
Didn't wanna disappoint, but he had to make a choice
Still he's got a family, so how could he be unemployed?
But what's a family if he never gets to see em?
And what is work if it takes away his freedom?
He can take it but it's not the way to treat him
Maybe he just needs Jesus
Cuz his spirit is a wreck and he misses that feeling
But maybe he's not too far gone, Lord willing
That remains to be seen if he can take the leap
But What he needs most of all is just peace
[hook]
[verse 2]
Left behind what he could not endure
Then he struck out like an entrepreneur
Let the chips fall when he went out the door
Set sail, pushed away from the shore
Navigated from familiar to unknown
Another place, a new state of mind to call home
Habits to break, patterns to establish
Rest for the body and soul, Sabbath
And when he dreams, now he doesn't feel hopeless
And it seems that some things are in motion
He never thought he could believe in himself
But now he's getting dubs instead of taking Ls
All the time, life was not designed to be tolerated
We have an obligation, find ways to celebrate it
Make memories, make mistakes, make love
Now he knows there's nothing to be ashamed of
[hook]
[verse 3]
Years to come and years to go
Days when I'm above the line and days when I'm below
Weeks when I'm content and weeks when I'm dissatisfied
Months when I'm straight and months when I feel misaligned
Years to go and years to come
Days when I'm intelligent and others when I'm dumb
Weeks I feel amazing like “nobody's messin with me!”
Then months when I'm like, “everybody's better than me.”
So may the road rise up to meet my lack
And may the wind be always be always at my back
Let the sunlight illuminate the dark
And let the rainfall saturate my heart
I want to Jesus to walk with me, I know he does
I’ve got peace beyond what I deserve it’s all because
I’ve accepted that I’m accepted, grace
I feel so connected
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Beau Brown Indianapolis, Indiana
hip-hop from an approaching-middle-age white man...what could go wrong?
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